Take. Deep. Breaths

 I have been feeling stressed lately. My kids seem to be fighting more then normal and I have been less then patient. I do not want to be the kind of mom who has to always raise my voice to get my kids attention. I posted on facebook this frustration of mine and asked my friends for some parenting book suggestions. They gave me some great ideas (btw, I have mixed feelings about facebook, but it definitley can be a positive way to connect and share with friends/family if you use it for that purpose). Anyway, I loved that I got so many great ideas from my friends/family and they reminded me that I have great kids and that I need to just take deep breaths sometimes and that everything WILL be ok.

I take my job as a mother very seriously. This can be a good thing in many ways because it means that I am fiercly devoted to my children and their well being, but it also often times means that I compare other mothers "best" to my "worst". I know I am a good mom, but like lots of other moms, I feel like a failure often. This job of raising children is such a huge responsibility and I really, truly want to do my very best, but man it is SO HARD.

Lately there has been a feeling of contention in our home and it has taken a toll on all of us. We are all still adjusting to our big move and Courts new work schedule. Court is gone A TON at night, which makes family life pretty hard. I start off each week ready and willing to take on the challenges of raising four kids, then by Wednesday or Thursday I am FRIED!!! My kids know this, they sense it, and they use it to their advantage (those sneaky little things). I DO NOT want our home to be filled with the spirit of contention, I want it to be a place where my children can always feel the Spirit, feel peaceful, and feel loved.

I realized that in order to get our home and family going in the direction I wanted it to, that it had to start with Court and I. We have taken a step back these last couple weeks, evaluated where we can do better, really thought about how WE can make changes to help our family, and we have taken a more calm but firm approach to our parenting. Well, things still get pretty nuts around here, but over all the last two weeks have been so much better and slowly we can see our efforts making an improvement. Before reading any of the great parenting books my friends suggested on facebook we decided to go back and re-read a "Love and Logic" book we read years ago. We have been reading a chapter a night once the kids are in bed and it has really been helping us. It's been nice at the end of the day to read this book together, evaluate how we did in our parenting that day, and discuss how we can do better.

I love my children so much. They mean everything to me. They also at times drive me a little crazy. Craziness and all, I am so lucky to be their mom and I hope that I can do everything in my power to be the best mom I can possibly be. I know that to do this I MUST rely heavily on Heavenly Father, I must pray to him {every.single.day} and ask him to give him the strength I need to be a great mom. After all I am raising his children, he knows them best, he knows me best, and he needs to always be the first place I turn for direction.