Sunday, July 31, 2011

Oh Baby!

My very sweet Aunt with Tammy Eggen Photography did a maternity/family photo shoot for us the other night! She is so talented and it was very fun to capture this time of our life in photographs. If you are looking for a TERRIFIC photographer in Utah or Salt Lake County I highly recommend her!!! She is very affordable too :)

Friday, July 29, 2011

Waves of Grief...

I shared this on my brothers memorial page this morning...

He Came For Us... by Michael G. Facer

When Jesus Christ was on the earth so many years ago,
He taught our Heav'n-ly Father's plan for children here below.
He came for us; He died for us--All to fulfill our Father's plan.
On Calvary, Gethsemane. He sacrificed that we might live again.

Through parables, with simple words, He said, "come, follow me,"
That we might now have joy on earth and live eternally.
He came for us; He died for us--All to fulfill our Father's plan.
On Calvary, Gethsemane. He sacrificed that we might live again.

That Easter morn, disciples ran to see where Jesus lay;
And there they saw a miracle: The stone was rolled away!
He came for us; He died for us--All to fulfill our Father's plan.
On Calvary, Gethsemane. He sacrificed that we might live again.

I was thinking this morning about how greif comes in waves. I googled a picture of waves on the beach, when I clicked on the picture it took me to a blog of a mother who recently lost her son, she shared this song on her blog. As I was reading the song I really pondered the line that says.. "He sacrificed that we might live again". I have an UNSHAKEABLE FAITH that if we will follow our Savior, we WILL live again. I KNOW that Jake is not gone, his spirit lives on, he is on the other side, working, serving, and teaching those that did not have the knowledge of our Heavenly Fathers plan here on earth. I KNOW I will be with Jake again, that our family will someday be whole again. The last few weeks I have done pretty well, but today not so much, grief most definitely comes in waves and today, for me the tide is very high, but I know if I lean on the Lord for comfort and depend on him that I can get through today and all of the hard days to come. I LOVE YOU JAKE, I MISS YOU TERRIBLY, I WISH I COULD GO PICK YOU UP AND SPEND THE DAY WITH YOU... I WISH HEAVEN WASN'T SO FAR AWAY!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Me, Myself, and I

Today I had two Doctors appointments, one this morning all the way downtown and then one this afternoon. Court was so sweet and knew how BADLY I needed a break from the kiddos after being sick for 3 weeks. He offered to stay home for the day and let me have the day to myself! I left around 9am this morning and didn't get back until 4pm this afternoon. As much as I would have rather not had Doctor appointments fill half my day, it was a GREAT much needed break.

After my first appoitment I headed down to Gateway Mall for a little shopping and then had lunch at Jason's Deli. I really wish I would have had a good book with me because I could have just sat in that booth quietly alone for hours! Maybe I am weird, but every once in awhile I just love an "alone" day. I don't mind one bit getting lunch by myself or shopping, I find it really relaxing! I wish I would have thought ahead and could have spent the afternoon at the Salt Lake Temple, as I drove past it I thought to myself, "darn it..why didn't I think of that, that would have been a terrific way to spend my day alone". Next time, FORSURE!

After lunch I headed up to a Salon my friend works at downtown to say Hi and check out the place! It was fun to chit chat for a little bit and catch up!! As nice as it is to be done with school and a stay-at-home mom again, I have to admit, I was a bit jealous that she is already in a salon and starting her career! I am REALLY missing doing hair and interacting with clients!!! Once my baby is at least a few months old I may look at working one day a week to keep up my skills and get some more hands on experience.

I finished up my day meeting with my OB. It really was great to FINALLY get to meet with the actual GI specialist this morning and then get to follow up with my OB this afternoon. We still don't have answers to exactly WHAT is wrong with me but we are trying out a heavy duty antibiotic and are hoping that cures whatever strange bug I have. If that doesn't work then there will be more tests and such from there, but I am HOPEFUL that the medication will work. My pregnancy is basically considered high risk from here on out and truly it makes me feel so much better that they are being overly cautious. The baby is measuring small, but her heart rate and amniotic fluid look good, which really calms a pregnant mammas nerves! I will have a full ultrasound Saturday to make sure that everything is ok with the baby!

It really was a great day and so nice to finally be getting some help with whatever is wrong with me!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

We're Rich!

Last night we decided to take the kids to a movie since it was a Holiday. We ALWAYS take the kids to the dollar theater because for starters it's cheap, the kids don't care, and we usually wait so long to see movies that they are almost always at the dollar theater or already on DVD by the time we get around to seeing them. Well the movie we wanted to see was only in 3D and those make me really sick. So we decided to check out what was playing at the regular theater. The kids have been dieing to see Kung Fu Panda 2, so we decided to spend the big bucks and take them to the BIG theater.

I was doing the girls hair and our 8 year old, Mac, asked what movie we were going to, I told her Kung Fu Panda and she immediately replied, "but, that's not at the dollar theater"! I told her that we were going to the BIG theater, she then then said to me, "You mean the RICH theater"??? Hahahaha, I sure got a kick out of that one! She was thrilled to be going to the BIG movie theater and couldn't believe that we wern't going to the dollar movie.

We will still be sticking mainly to our trusty dollar theather, but every once in awhile it's fun to go to the "Rich" theater :).

Monday, July 25, 2011

18 days straight!!!

AHHHH, I have been sick with this "mystery bug" for 18 days straight!!! I can safely safe I AM LOOSING MY MIND :). My Doctors office is closed today because it's the Pioneer Holiday here in Utah. I was up ALL NIGHT last night, I think I got a total of 3 hours of sleep. I called the Doctor on call this morning to see what I should do. Like usual, THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL ME. I really am trying to be patient, but this is getting sooooo rediculous. I have been to the hospital twice already for IV's and to run tests with no results. They only want me to come in if I can't keep fluids down and luckily I am AT LEAST doing that. Call me CrAzY but isn't a 34 week pregnant woman who has barley been able to eat a thing in 18 days and has lost 8 pounds a cause for CONCERN??? I am REALLY hoping that I can actually see the GI specialist tomorrow and get some answers (instead of just another "consultation"). If not I am marching me and my pregnant belly to the hospital and demanding that they run MORE tests!!!

*Sorry for my pity party, I am just so frustrated and I want to feel good again!!!*

Sunday, July 24, 2011


The nesting stage sure is in full swing for me! In five weeks or less this little babe of mine will be here. I can't believe it!!! I am technically not due for 6 more weeks, but since I have been induced with my other three, my Doctor went ahead and scheduled me to be induced with this baby as well.

I am beginning to feel some anxiety about being ready for this babies soon-to-be arrival! My to-do list is a MILE long!!! With being so sick and the kids out of school for the summer, my list is coming along very slowly. Hopefully this next week I can get some energy to really start cracking down on the things I NEED to get done.

With every other baby we have had their name picked out way in advance, but with this one we are still struggling to make a decision. We have narrowed it down to 3 names. I think we are going to have to see this little one to make our decision.

We are very excited for our new baby girl to get here, but nervous to be parents to FOUR CHILDREN!!! We are 99% sure that this is our last baby, so even with being uncomfortable in this last stage of pregnancy I am trying to enjoy the feeling of having a sweet baby growing and moving inside me. I love feeling the baby move, feeling close to her, and already falling in love with her even though I haven't met her yet. It is a beautiful blessing to have the ability to bear children. I am sad that this chapter of pregnancy and new babies is coming to a close in my life. As difficult as pregnancy can be, it is such an amazing gift to be a mother and have the privilege of having your child grow inside your body. I will in many ways miss this sacred stage of my life and will forever cherish my pregnancies with each of my precious children.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Thank You!

I haven't had the chance to reply to all of the comments, emails, letters, etc... that I have received since my brothers passing. But I just wanted to let all of you know who have gone out of your way to let me know that you care how much it means to me and my family. I feel incredibly blessed to have such a huge support system of family, friends, and even people I don't know personally who are praying for my family. Your prayers have LITERALLY been felt and are holding us up in our time of need. I truly believe in the POWER of prayer and have never in my life had the privelege of truly "feeling" the prayers of others in my behalf. Many blessings have come despite this tragedy and our family is incredibly grateful for those tender mercy's

Brittany Waterlyn-Jones

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Be Happy!

This last month has been so strange and so hard. I haven't felt like myself and just can't seem to get out of this "funk" I am in. I know that I have very good reasons to not exactly be super chipper, but truth this, this spot I am in is really starting to drive me crazy!!! I am the type of person who thrives on being productive and lately I just can't seem to muster up much energy to get a whole lot done. I finally got most of the upstairs tidied up today, thanks to my awesome neighbor keeping the kids for several hours. Hopefully tomorrow I can get the energy to tackle the basement, it really is beginning to look like a BOMB has gone off down there!

A few days after Court and I got back from our trip to Cabo I came down with some really WEIRD bug and I just can't seem to shake it. I wont go into details, but basically EVERYTHING I eat makes me extremely sick and this has been going on for two straight weeks now. I am loosing weight (not good when you are pregnant) and have been to the hospital twice for IV's and to monitor the baby. My Doctor has me working with a specialist to try to figure out what the problem is, but so far the hospital has run tons and tons of tests and they can't figure it out. My fingers are crossed that we can figure this out quick because I am going CrAzY!!!

Despite how difficult the last month has been, we have had some fun and are all working hard to stay positive. Our family has had some very spiritual and sacred experiences since my brother Jake's passing that have brought us so much peace. There are still MANY days that I burst out in tears, mostly in the quiet moments when my mind has the chance to think about him and try and wrap my head around the idea that he really is gone. At least every other day I find one of my children crying and when I ask them what is wrong, the answer is always that they miss their Uncle Jake.

Loosing my dear Grandmother this past November and then my baby brother has at times been a very heavy burden to bear. My grandmother lived a long happy life, her passing was shocking, and so sad, but I have felt content in knowing that it was her time. When your baby brother dies at just 20 years old, that same comfort of, "it was his time", just doesn't exist. When I focus on the feeling the spirit and leaning on Heavenly Father for answers, I do feel peace in Jake's passing. But the peace doesn't take away the pain, it only eases it. I know that as time passes the grief will not be so heavy, but life for my family will forever be changed and that is hard to come to grips with.

I REALLY am doing my best to focus on all things HAPPY! When I have moments of sadness in missing my brother, I try to think of fun memories with him and all of the positive he brought into my life. For future proof to myself that we really are focusing on happy things at our house, here is a list of fun things our family has done this past month...

*Cabo trip with my hot hubby
*4th of July fireworks with our neighbors
*Swimming with the kids
*Girls started tennis lessons
*Kids lemonaide stand
*Church playgroups
*Dinner with Gramie and Grandpa Jones for Courts b-day
*Date night out with friends for Courts b-day
*Renewing our Temple recommends
*Playing on the slip-n-slide in the backyard
*Swinging on the swingset
*Riding bikes and scooters with friends around and around the cul-de-sac
*Checking out books at the Library
*Ikea for lunch and the kids playland
*Started getting the nursery ready for our baby girl
*Lots of feeling the baby move in my tummy (kids sure love this)

***And I almost forgot, our 3 year old, J-man is finally potty trained! One day he just decided he was a big boy and he's been in big boy underware ever since (tender mercy from Heaven during this challenging time)

(My 7 month preggo belly)

ALL in ALL, we are trying our best to be positive and have a FUN SUMMER!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Our Missionary...

*Please feel free to click on the "What I Believe" button on the side bar to learn more about our families Faith, what we Believe, and why we can find Peace and Happiness amidst this tragedy we are facing*

I read a blog today of one of our cute friends daughters from Kansas City. Her missionary just got home and her pictures and story were darling. I am so excited for her! Not too many couples make it through those 2 years apart. I cant wait to see what the future holds for them. It is such a cute love story!

In the last year whenever I have seen missionaries around town I have instantly thought, "Jake would be such a great missionary, I really hope he decides to go." A few months before Jake turned 19 he told our family that he had decided not to serve a mission. He was an incredibly talented skateboarder and had even gotten sponsored. At the time he felt like he wanted to stay home and pursue his skateboarding career. Over the past year it has been very clear that Jake regretted his decision to not go on a mission. I never in a million years thought that this would be the way that he would serve his mission, but I truly believe that he will be a missionary on the other side. I know that Jake has a testimony of the Gospel, that he loves the Lord, and that he will have the opportunity to serve and teach those who were not blessed with the knowledge of the gospel in this life.

I wish so badly that he was only going to be gone for two years. That seems so much more bearable. I can only imagine what an incredible day it will be when our entire family is re-united once again.

(My dad, Jake, and Devon before General Priesthood, sorry guys not the greatest pic :)

This is the song that was sung at Jake's funeral, it is a special version of "I am a Child of God" written for parents who have lost a child...

I am a child of God and He has called me home.
My earthly journey's through but still, I do not walk alone.
He leads me, guides me, walks beside me, helps me find the way.
He welcomed me with open arms. I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I have gone ahead.
My earthly life was brief but oh, such peace and love you gave.
You loved me, held me, stood beside me and though I cannot stay.
You gave me much to help me and I live with Him today.

I am a child of God and I will wait for you.
Celestial glory shall be ours, if you can but endure.
I'll lead you, guide you, walk beside you.
Help you find the way.
I'll welcome you with open arms
One bright Celestial day.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Greif beyond words...

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

I wasn't planning on posting today, but I got online to check a few things and found myself here. My heart is so heavy right now, I'm not even sure how to put into words what heartache and pain the loss of my little brother has caused. I have experienced some pretty huge trials in my life (most of them very private and personal), but nothing like this, nothing this difficult. I just want him back so badly, I want to tell him how much I love him, how much Court loves him, how much my kids love him. 20 years old is just too young to die!

June 19th, 2011 will forever be burned into my brain as the hardest day of my life. The day started out so great, it was Fathers Day, and for the first time ever we were getting to celebrate with both my husband and my dad. We were in Monteray California with my parents on a fun weekend get away. I had planned a surprise Fathers Day breakfast at Pebble Beach. Court has always dreamed of going there and since actually golfing there was 100% out of our budget, I thought it would be fun to go eat there and at least get to drive around and see what a beautiful place it was. We all enjoyed a great breakfast and then walked around the grounds. That place is truly breath taking. It was very quiet and peaceful there. We took a drive on the historic 17-mile drive. After we were done it was time to take Court to the airport, he was coming home to work and the kids and I were staying with my parents for another week.

We all headed out on the main highway, my parents were a few cars in front of us when suddenly we couldn't find them anymore. We looked over and they were pulled over on the side of the highway, but by the time we saw them it was too late for us to stop. As we drove past them I noticed my dad sitting up on the side of the hill, he was on his phone, and looked very upset. My first thought was that something was wrong with the car. We pulled over on the next exit and waited for them to call. We waited and waited but didn't hear anything. Frantically I started calling each of my parents cell phones, no answer. Then I called my little sisters phone and finally my mom picked up... I could hear them all screaming and crying, but I couldn't even tell what they were saying. After a few minutes I heard my mom scream, "Jake's dead". I started bawling and shaking, I was in complete shock, I was able to calm down enough for us to get back on the highway and get back to where my parents were. After about ten minutes of all of us hugging and crying, Court and I convinced my parents that we needed to get off the side of the highway and get everyone to somewhere safe. My parents were in no condition to drive and I knew that if I were in the car with them that I would fall apart, so Court drove my parents in their car, and I drove our car with our kids.

We pulled over in a hotel parking lot and my husband gave each of my parents a priesthood blessing of comfort. Then we all held hands (a tradition in my dad's family) and I gave a family prayer. A very sweet hotel worker had noticed us in the parking lot, he brought us a box of Kleenex and told us how sorry he was although he didn't know exactly what was going on. I know that the Lord was with us that day, the Spirit gave me strength to remain relatively calm in an unimaginable situation and gave my husband the ability to step up and direct us in what to do. I am so grateful for the power of the Priesthood, I am grateful for a husband who was worthy to use that power when it was needed so desperately. I am grateful for the power of prayer and that in our darkest hour we could turn to the Lord.

I immediately started making calls to my Aunts and Uncles in Utah to tell them what had happened. They all rushed over to be with my brother Ryan, who had been the first to find out the devastating news of Jake's sudden, unexpected death. My dads sister looked up to see the next available flight to Utah, booked my parents on it, and we drove them to the nearest airport. I can't even explain the gratitude that I have for my extended family, how they all stepped up and took care of us without a question or second thought. After Court and I got my parents situated at the airport we began the two hour drive back to my parents home with my younger siblings and our children. When we got back to their home we were met by my parents best friends and the Bishop of their ward. The Bishop spoke with us, gave us words of comfort, and then he and Court gave both my sister and I a blessing. After about an hour we packed up the cars and my dads twin brother meet us at the house to help drive everyone out to Utah.

I think I am to a point still in shock of all that transpired that day. It doesn't feel real and I wish so badly that it was all a horrible nightmare. I am so grateful that the Lord had things set in place so that Court and I could be with my parents that day and that Ryan could be in Utah with Jake. I will forever be grateful for my brother Ryan and all that he had to endure the day of Jake's death. He was there for Jake and he had the unimaginable job of having to call my parents and tell them the news.

Despite the heartache, questioning, and sadness that has come from this tragedy, I feel strengthened. I feel that my testimony has grown immensely in the past two weeks. My gratitude for the Gospel, The Plan of Salvation, The Priesthood, Family, and the Savior has been intensified ten fold. I feel that I now have a better understanding of Heavenly Fathers plan for each of us and know that if we live worthily then we can return to live with him again.

I KNOW Jake is in a better place, a place so beautiful and peaceful that our mortal minds can not comprehend it's beauty. I know Jake is surrounded by his loved one's that past on before him. He has people there to love him and care for him. I know that there was a purpose in Jake leaving this earth so quickly. I know that he has things he needs to do there and people that need him there. I know he will be an instrument in the Lord hands. I know these things because I can feel them, the Holy Ghost has confirmed them to me in my heart. My heart is still broken that he is gone, that our family is changed forever, but I feel peace in knowing we have a Guardian Angel looking down on us.

Monday, July 4, 2011

A Priceless Gift...

(my brothers Jake and Devon, with Jake's best friend)

The night before my brother Jake's funeral both my brother Ryan and I recieved this beautiful email. I am amazed at some people's amazing gift with words. This letter is so priceless to us and has brought us so much peace...

The email was titled... {I Will Never Stop Praying}

I was going to write a letter and send it, but it seems that technology is a lot easier to get a hold of the people that I am trying to reach.

I met Jake Garrett Waterlyn over a month ago, when he moved in with Tyler Melvin (my boyfriend), when I met him I could not believe the spirit that he brought into a room. Jake would always fill the room with laughter and smiles, no matter where it was. We had a couple conversations about his life. He talked about the church, trek and all of his beliefs that followed. He talked about his beautiful mother who he admired deeply for the love that she gave him growing up; he talked about his dad being the biggest influence in his life. He talked about growing up with an amazing family that was very close because of God; he told me stories about his siblings that made me laugh until I cried. He talked about his family a lot; he told me that his brother Ryan was a very strong role model in his life. That even growing up, no matter how much they would fight, they were always close in a special way. He told me that his mother would do just about anything to make you smile and his father would always have the best advice. He was the happiest person, who hardly had anything bad to say. Every time that I was visiting Tyler, he would dance, sing and the funniest thing that he did was his impression of an old guy with a cane dancing to music. Jake was a perfect soul, who made a giant impression in my heart. He made me feel better every time I would see his beautiful smile. Jake talked about wanting a family just like his, he talked about going on a mission one day, and he talked about the love that he shared with the Lord. He would read his scriptures and pray almost every night before going to sleep. Jake is a beautiful, loving and warm soul that I will never forget. The night before his passing, Jake went to Schlotsky’s sandwich diner with me, Tyler and Tyler’s friend Colton. We ate delicious sandwiches and Jake talked about making videos of him skate boarding. Jake told me that one day he would be famous for his talents and that he would make sure to share the wealth with his friends and family.

Jake shared with me his absolute favorite poem...

Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”

I know that Jake is at peace with God. He is looking down on his family and friends, trying to help them understand. He was so young and so full of spirit and that spirit will go on through everyone that he touched in his life. There are no answers to why this happened, only the faith that it was his time to be with God. Please remember to be strong and to remember him for all of the good he did for people. I only knew him for about a month, but he will forever be in my heart. He will forever be remembered as the most beautiful soul that I have ever met. I am so sorry for your loss and I have not stopped praying and I will never stop praying for you...Amber

Saturday, July 2, 2011


Court and I just got back late last night from being in California for my brothers funeral and from our trip to cabo. The last few weeks have been so strange, I feel like it's been months not weeks with all that has happened. When I get a chance I want to sit down and record my feelings over the past few weeks, but I know it wont be easy, so I am going to give myself sometime to keep processing things.

My little brother was a funny soul. He loved to laugh, smile, and goof off. My mom shared this funny story of him on his facebook memorial page and I thought I would share because it made me smile, I can't think of him and not smile! I MISS HIM SO MUCH ALREADY!!! I know he must be doing amazing things on the other side and that his laughter and charm are blessing those around him.

Here is what my mom shared...

Thought I would share today. I shared a funny story about Jake, Devon & Aubrey and friends, collecting frogs with Jake and making a frog pond on our side yard, and then frogs coming from everywhere, and they all were in our pool, never seen so many frogs. Jake worked with me at Gold's and I heard all the time how wonderful my son was and his award winning smile meant a lot to everyone there. We've never had frogs come in to the gym, since we opened in 2005, over the last couple of days, guess what has shown up? FROGS, hopping around. Jake's reminding us to LAUGH, have JOY and be GOOFY, attached is a GOOFY picture of him, what character..... Please share if you wish....WE LOVE YOU, JAKE LOVES you... The Waterlyn's
(Jake being his goofy self!)

***I have decided my kids need some pet frogs***